TWITTER TUESDAYS: CAT FOOD, THE YEAR 2001 AND VISORS

We’re “journalists” here at the Chronicle sports department and that means sometimes we don’t eat the healthiest. I actually consume a steady supply of donuts, top raumen and licorice. Sometimes I can’t feel my feet and go into diabetic shock. But hey, at least it isn’t this bad…

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As an owner of a cat, I can totally sympathize with this. I’ve opened plenty of kitty cans of food and thought: this doesn’t look any different from what I just had for soup. Since cat food is considerably cheaper than human food, it got me thinking and wondering if humans could actually eat the stuff.

(This is the stuff I think about during the summer when no sports are going on.)

Luckily I found an answer online…

Your liver, kidneys and skin do a terrific job of removing foreign substances from the body, especially mild ones like those found in cat food. “Technically, you could safely digest a baseball,” Blatner says. Perhaps the worst stuff in cat food is the high mineral content in the ash, but your body would clear that out quickly.

Actually, the ingredients listed on the organic blends of cat food sound pretty tasty. Newman’s Own canned beef formula uses only free-range beef from Uruguay, is 95 percent USDA-certified organic, and is chock-full of vitamins. Pass me a spoon, right? “Those are better,” Blatner says, “but they too are developed with cat nutrition in mind and aren’t formulated to keep humans healthy. It’s OK to satisfy the occasional craving, but you shouldn’t make it a staple of your regular diet. It’s cat food for a reason.”

So there you go folks, YOU CAN GO EAT CAT FOOD.

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Grant McEwen has obviously never seen me own the weight room at Thorebeckes, back when I would actually go to the weight room at Thorebeckes.  The local workout centers, by the way, are awesome in every way imaginable but I just couldn’t get over some of the people there.

1. The guy obviously trolling for girls - I always found it odd that this guy would come over to do free weights right in front of the cardio machines. Then I realized he was trying to show off for the ladies. Granted he was completely blocking where people walked and grunting to the point where I thought he was passing a kidney stone, but hey folks, he works out.
2. The MMA fighter - Please don’t look at me. Please don’t look at me. I’m not here to fight you and your neck tattoo.
3. The old guy - How on earth do you lift more than me but somehow take up the machine for a half hour longer than everyone else?
4. The sweater - Ah I see the Amazon river is flowing off you and I also see that you don’t wipe down machines after your done. Very cool.
5. Aaron Van Tuyl - Ah, I see that smedium t-shirt is getting smaller by the week. Maybe you’ll switch to a child’s small sometime this fall.

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I am eagerly awaiting for the visor to come back into style. I hope that the efforts of Oscar and company make this a reality.

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Mariners fans aren’t excited or anything. What I love about this is that we still have fourty-something games to go, Seattle doesn’t even have the wildcard spot and yet people are just happy the Mariners are in some sort of pennant race. It’s like it’s 2001 all over again.

Remember those days?

Remember when Seattle had an NBA franchise?

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Remember when the All-Star game was held in Seattle?

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Remember when the Seahawks wore these uniforms?

59500617  Matt Hasselbeck

Remember when Matt Hasselbeck was Seattle’s quarterback of the future?

hasselbeck_signed

Remember when the Huskies won the Rose Bowl?

rose bowl

Remember when Seattle has earthquakes?

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Now looking back I feel like being a sports fan in Seattle in 2001 was 100x more interesting. Everyone was just coming off a grunge hangover and the Patriots had yet to become the model franchise in the NFL. Century Link had yet to be built so Seahawks fans were still piling in the Kingdome.

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I always know I’m in fancy restaurant when the waiter is dressed like they’re in a business casual environment and not wearing a flair-covered Denny’s uniform. The menu is also a dead-give away. If the menu is in comic sans, chances are you’re spending less than 10 dollars. If it’s some sort of font that belongs on the front of an Oxford manual and it doesn’t have prices in the menu … you know it’s just assumed you’ll be spending a lot.

AROUND THE AREA: BIGHILL LIVING THE CFL DREAM

685224_web_AdamBighillPlaying professional football is a dream for many and a reality for few. While the NFL is the ultimate goal, many players are doing just fine in the Canadian Football League which can eventually turn into an NFL gig or perhaps just a steady professional-level wage for playing a sport. Montesano’s Adam Bighill is playing for our friendly neighbor’s to the north, and not doing too shabby despite coming from just a 1A school.

When Adam Bighill used to dream about playing professional football one day, he would imagine scoring a touchdown, winning a championship and playing alongside some of the best athletes in the sport. Now, the Montesano native has not just scored a touchdown and won a championship, but he’s been embraced by adoring fans and become one of the stars of the Canadian Football League with the BC Lions.

“I just wanted to play football and I never thought about all of these other things that I would have a chance to be a part of and do,” Bighill said. “My picture is blown up on the building. All the people are running around with my jersey on. It’s quite cool.”

Bighill, a 2007 graduate of Montesano High School, hasn’t just become one of the starting linebackers for the Lions, he has been named to the CFL all-star team the past two seasons. In 2012, Bighill had the second most tackles in the CFL with 104 in just his second year in the league. Last season, the former Bulldog standout led the Lions with 92 tackles and led the CFL with four forced fumbles.

For the full story, head on over to the Vidette’s website. 

Twin Cities Falls in Championship Game

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BAKER CITY, Ore. — For the second year in a row, Twin Cities has shown brilliance but fell in the Babe Ruth Pacific Northwest Regional championship game. After the Centralia and Chehalis 15s disposed of KWRL 5-4 in the semifinal game here on Sunday, they fell to Woodinville 18-14 in the regional championship game.

Twin Cities built a 4-1 lead through six innings after RBIs by Tyler Pallas in the third and Christian Peters in the fourth to go along with a 2-run rally in the sixth. KWRL answered back with 3 runs in the top of the seventh, putting the pressure on the Mint and Hub City boys.

Twin Cities bounced back with a leadoff double by Nole Wasson — who would finished the game 2 for 3 — followed by a Christian Peter sac fly, then an Emery groundball that KWRL couldn’t handle defensively.

That exciting win for Twin Cities matched them up in the championship game against Woodinville, a team that had beaten them 2-1 in pool play. The second time around it was considerably higher scoring, but Woodinville again proved to be the victor, 18-14.

Twin Cities pounded out 20 hits but had just two bad innings in the loss. After going up 7-0 in the top of the second, Woodinville had a 10-run rally in the bottom of the frame and the slugfest began.

Twin Cities cut it to 10-8 before going on a 6-run rally in the top of the fourth for a 14-10 lead. Then Woodinville struck again with an 8-run rally in the bottom of the fifth and that’s how things would stay.

Jacob Cleary was 5 for 5 while Tyler Pallas, Drew Forgione, Tysen Paul and Joel Aliff each had three hits. Nole Wollan and Christian Peters had two hits apiece.

Twin Cities left 14 baserunners on, while walking seven batters, hitting four and committing four errors. To see the full story, head over to Chronline.com.

TWITTER TUESDAYS: PAUL WALKER, JERSEY NUMBERS AND THE DMV

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Tim Duncan is ready for Twitter Tuesdays. I hope you are too. Let’s get this poorly-constructed blog feature started!

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David Price did not go to the Mariners. In fact, I’m pretty sure Seattle got two bat boys and some Trident gum. Call me a hater but I can never get excited about the M’s “Wheeling and Dealing” because it reminds me of middle school when a kid brought in an entire box of those carmel apple suckers and had traded them all away for trapper keepers and a mechanical pencil by lunchtime.

And come on, we all know Oscar isn’t giving up his flattop. Centralia wouldn’t be the same.

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Actually it is a big deal. If you want to be a cool human being, you’ll do what Jacob Monohon is doing: watching the Fast and the Furious movies. A marathon of them means that after just a few hours of watching, you’re already numb to most of the plot holes in the movies and can just enjoy them.

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Former W.F. West basketball player and STATE CHAMPKINS Katie Hankins is suiting up for Lower Columbia College next year and needs a jersey number. Here’s a handy dandy uniform number guide…

00 – Unless you’re eastern European or the team manager, don’t wear this one.
1 – Don’t be that person that uses No. 1. Because then your parents or significant other will inevitable say or make a sign that says “No. 1 on their jersey, No. 1 in our hearts.” Gag.
2 – Do you really want to be called Deuce?
3 – This is actually perfect is you’re a three-point shooter or a Dwayne Wade fan. Nobody has been a Dwayne Wade fan since 2007. So please. Don’t.
4 – No one in the history of the NBA that has amounted to anything has worn the No. 4 jersey.
5 – I can’t come up with a single reason not to pick No. 5. It’s the number of how many players are out on the court for your team. It’s Jason Kidd’s number. It looks like an S for Superman. Do it.
6 – Remember how annoying the Seahawks’ 12th man gets. Same deal with the 6th Man. Which is also a Wayans Brothers’ movie.
7 – This is Toni Kukoc’s old number. Anyone who was a fan in the 1990s of the NBA knows who Toni Kukoc is. Anyone who played NBA Live back then too knows that you could just plant Kukoc under the basket and the other team COULD NOT MAKE A CLOSE SHOT OR GET A REBOUND. You know, kind of like having Nike McClure by the basket.
8 – This is young Kobe Bryant’s number. You know back before Kobe’s knees turned into jelly and he became the old man of the NBA. This was “Fro” Kobe.
9 – Tony Parker’s number. Who likes the French? No one from America. That’s who.
10 – Getting into double digits now. Tim Hardaway’s number, back when he did Sprite commercials.
11 – Detlef’s number. Show a little Twin Cities pride with the former Sonics great!
22 – Clyde Drexler’s number… you know… the hipster’s Michael Jordan.
23 – DON’T EVER BE THE MICHAEL JORDAN GUY IF YOU CAN’T BACK IT UP. It kills me when the kid on the team that has 23 can’t make a jump shot to save his life and dribbles off his foot in three straight possessions.
24 – This is Centralia’s Maxx Warring’s number.

MaxxWaring

Yes, that Maxx Waring.
33 – Nothing wrong with Larry Bird’s number and there is something pleasing with dual 33s.
So seriously, Katie, choose away!

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So I’ve noticed that as I get older, my sound system slowly gets worse. When I was in middle school I had like five large speakers and a top-of-the-line tape deck where I could rock the Garth Brooks loudly. My first car also had custom speakers to go along with a custom-installed radio.

Now, I have a stock radio with a tape deck and my setup in my apartment is one of those pay as you go smart phones that I just hook up to wifi and play spotify onto some computer speakers. Yeah, I’m jamin’

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I love when angry readers will say things like “Stick to sports” or “I can’t believe the Chronicle would hire a ginger” or “Why do you keep writing columns about your cat?” … as if it is going to somehow cut to my soul and I’ll hang up the ol’ keyboard and quit a job that allows me to wake up to at 10 a.m. every day and make Andy Dalton memes while I’m on the clock.

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Wait Maz, why are you at the Lacey DMV? Oh wait that’s right the Lewis County DMV moved and didn’t tell anyone where to. Seriously, they tore down the building and now I’m assuming I have to go to Taco Bell to get a new license.

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“Do you feel in control, ceiling?” “I see you have fluorescent lighting, I was born in it.”

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I’m pretty sure this was the guy that Maz was talking about…

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Nugent Wins Lewis County Amateur

2014 Lewis County Amateur

Olympia native Patrick Nugent shot a second day-low 69 to win the 2014 Lewis County Amateur Golf Tournament Sunday at Riverside Golf Course in Chehalis.

With course conditions at their toughest and greens at their quickest, Nugent shot a 70 on Saturday and was tied for third. Nugent, a former Olympia High School and Grays Harbor College golfer, posted the strongest performance out of any golfer on Sunday, finishing with a total score of 139.

Nugent was an alternate qualifier for the U.S. Open this year, and the 21-year old was perviously named Grays Harbor College’s Male Athlete of the Year.

Centralia’s Deter Voetberg finished first in the Lewis County Amateur’s Net Scores — which adjusts for a golfer’s handicap. Voetberg, along with Nugent, took home a $750 payout in Riverside Golf Course store credit for their top scores. For the full story, head over to Chronline.com.

THROWBACK THURSDAYS: BUCODA BASEBALL

Tenino’s Dave Montgomery (now residing in Forks) sent us some classic photos from Bucoda’s baseball days. He did a research project in college on the baseball teams from the town’s past, which serves as perfect material for our Throwback Thursdays.

This first photo comes from around 1910-ish judging from the fact that the uniforms don’t match and everybody looks like they just got off their shift at the mill.

Bucoda ca 1910

Next up is a team photo from 1921… note the socks. Ah the glory days of baseball.

Bucoda 1921

And here is another team photo from 1947. According to Montgomery, Bucoda’s peak baseball years were the 1920s to WW2 when they played teams like the Kansas City Monarchs (Satchel Page’s team), the House of David (think Jordan Nailon in a baseball jersey) and PCL teams. Before the game against the Monarchs, Satchel was apparently walking around with a .22 looking for snakes to shoot.

Bucoda 1947

 

Here is a photo of Dewey Lamb – a former major league prospect. According to Montgomery, he is likely wearing an old Seattle Indians (predecessor to the Seattle Rainiers) jersey since the Bucoda team sold their old jerseys. Even after the uniforms were no longer in use the Bucoda team was known as the Indians for many years.

Dewey Lamb ca 1930

After World War 2, the team was reformed with players such as Stan Ozbolt and Bob Wall, grandfather of Tenino grad and current St. Martins shortstop Dani Wall.

Bob Shupp

Bob Wall

Big thanks to Dave for sending these over to us!

TWITTER TUESDAYS: HUMAN CENTIPEDE AND KETCHUP

While Washington is burning up, LA is apparently under water. Well, UCLA to be more precise. A water main break on or near campus has caused the Bruins’ track and field stadium to flood. Oh and legendary Pauley Pavilion is also under water judging from this photo…

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Talk about a bad day.

Anyways, here is the latest edition of Twitter Tuesdays. Lets see what Oscar Jackson is up to.

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Jackson is talking about the Sobe-Toyota Lizards who are currently battling it out in the Senior Legion State Tournament at Ed Wheeler Field. Right this minute they’re playing the Yakima Valley Pepsi Pak. So literally their mascot is this…

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God bless Legion baseball and their sponsors.

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While working in Spokane as a college student, I stopped at the same McDonalds every morning when they started serving their large iced coffees. By the first month, they could recognize my car and voice before I pulled up to the drive-thru window and just started giving me the usual. I must also note, this was a very fat time in my life.

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This is terrifyingly close to Tenino’s football stadium, which after the Montesano fire and the Elma grandstand debacle feels like the only stadium still standing in the Evergreen Division.

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So I sat through The Conjuring and afterwards couldn’t sleep without the lights on for the next week. You know why? Because they trump it up like it’s a real story but once you start investigating online you find it’s a collection of stories from the same couple the claim to be ghost fighters. Ghost fighters that charge admission to their house so you can look at various haunted items.

Yep. They run a ghost theme park. I’m gonna call BS on this one.

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Sighhhhh, do we have to rehash the Human Centipede plot? Let me put it this way: It’s the worst possible film every made by the human race. I give you…

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Which naturally just results in …

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So here is a warning. Never watch the Human Centipede. Not Even Once.

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Can I go on a rant about how much I hate ketchup packets? They’re designed for convenience and easy transport but you get .0000001 oz. of ketchup in each packet. For you to get any real amount of ketchup you have to hoard the packets like you’re Scrooge McDuck.

You don’t know where the ketchup is going to spurt out so you’re basically playing Russian roulette with stains on your shirt.

Also, packets are designed for being on the go but have you ever tried opening these ketchup packets while driving? They’re more dangerous than using a cell phone. I wonder how many accidents a year are caused by ketchup packets.

I’m just saying. Couldn’t we just put ketchup in the tartar sauce mini-tubs?

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I’m so glad that Hayden Dobyns is at W.F. West. In baseball you need personalities. To say Dobyns in a personality is an understatement.

Also, Dobyns runs the bases with the same stride that you would use when trolling around Walmart in a scooter. It’s awesome.

Twin Cities Completes State Tourney Sweep

Babe Ruth 15-Year Old State Baseball Tournament Championship

Babe Ruth 15-Year Old State Baseball Tournament Championship

Babe Ruth 15-Year Old State Baseball Tournament Championship

Babe Ruth 15-Year Old State Baseball Tournament Championship

It was a bit closer than the team had become accustomed to, but the end result was all that mattered.

Twin Cities completed a clean sweep of the 15-year-old Southern Washington Babe Ruth State Tournament on Sunday with an 11-3 win over Kalama-Woodland-Ridgefield-La Center at W.F. West High School. It was the only instance, in six tournament games, of the local squad needing more than five innings to secure a win.

For a photo gallery of the championship game, click on “Continue Reading.”

Continue reading

A LOOK AT THE BABE RUTH 15-YEAR OLD STATE TOURNAMENT

Babe Ruth Baseball
15-year-old Southern Washington
State Tournament
Tournament Schedule
Wednesday’s Games
Twin Cities 20, Willapa Harbor 1
Camas 17, Kennewick 3
KWRL 12, Richland 1
Twin Cities 22, Kennewick 4

Thursday’s Games
Willapa Harbor 10, Camas 7
KWRL 12, Kennewick 1
KWRL 8, Camas 3
Twin Cities 12, Richland 0

Friday’s Games
Richland 8, Kennewick 5
KWRL 12, Willapa Harbor 6
Willapa Harbor 16, Richland 6
Twin Cities 19, Camas 0

Saturday’s Games
Willapa Harbor vs. Kennewick, 10 a.m.
Camas vs. Richland, 1 p.m.
KWRL vs. Twin Cities, 4 p.m.

Sunday ’s Games
Pool Play #2 vs. Pool Play #3, 10 a.m.
Semifinal Winner vs. Pool Play #1, 1 p.m.

Twin Cities Drops the Hammer on Camas

Southern Washington Babe Ruth 15-Year Old Baseball State Tournam Southern Washington Babe Ruth 15-Year Old Baseball State Tournam Southern Washington Babe Ruth 15-Year Old Baseball State Tournam

The signs around Bearcat Baseball Stadium on Friday evening may have directed fans toward the 15-year-old Southern Washington Babe Ruth State Tournament. Camas, however, inadvertently walked into another round of host Twin Cities’ on-field batting practice.

The local All-Stars scored a whopping 19 runs in the first two innings and rolled through the next three innings on cruise control in a 19-0 win, improving to 4-0 in tournament pool play. Twin Cities led 8-0 after an eight-hit first inning that saw all but one of its starters score. For the full story, head over to Chronline.com.

At Chehalis
TWIN CITIES 19, CAMAS 0
Twin Cities   8(11)0   00 — 19 18 1
Camas   000   00 — 0 4 3
Batteries: Twin Cities — Jacob Cleary, Austin Emery (3), Tyler Pallas (4), Joey Aliff (5) and Tysen Paul, Noah Thomas (4); Camas — Tyler Bowlin, Jake Meinhold (2), Austin Kraut (2) and Austin McLaughlin

For a full gallery of photos, click on “Continue Reading.”
To buy prints of these photos, click here.

Continue reading

TUMWATER FOOTBALL PLAYER MEDICALLY RETIRES FROM UW

UWlogoUW’s Jaimie Bryant may ring a bell. Many Centralia and W.F. West players may have played against him during his football tenure with the T-Birds. Sad news coming out from Huskies’ coach Chris Petersen. The newly committed freshman will have to retire because of a serious back injury. From Christian Caple for the Olympian.

HOLLYWOOD, CALIF. — Just as Jaimie Bryant’s Washington Huskies football career was beginning, it came to an end.

UW coach Chris Petersen told a handful of reporters during lunch at Thursday’s Pac-12 media day that Bryant, a freshman defensive lineman from Tumwater, will take a medical retirement after doctors discovered an apparently serious back injury during the offseason.

Petersen said Bryant will likely remain in the program in some capacity, and as is customary with medical retirements, he will remain on scholarship throughout his academic career at UW.

“We’ll figure out a role where he helps us in the video department, or as a manager or something,” Petersen said.

Bryant originally signed a national letter of intent in 2013 under former coach Steve Sarkisian, but grayshirted and delayed his enrollment until spring quarter of 2014. He joined the Huskies in time for the second portion of spring practices this year after spending his year off in the weight room, bulking up to 6-feet, 4-inches and 309 pounds by the time he arrived at UW.

For the full story, head over to the Olympian.

Legion State Tournaments Start Saturday

The junior and senior American Legion state tournaments begin on Saturday, with three local teams vying for state supremacy.

The Senior Division State Tournament will be held at Centralia’s Ed Wheeler Field and will feature eight teams. The local Sobe-Toyota Lizards open play at 6 p.m. Saturday against Yakima Pepsi Pak, with the winner playing at 6 p.m. on Sunday and the loser playing an elimination game at noon on Sunday against either the Hanford Flames or the Spokane Bandits, who play at noon on Saturday.

The tournament will conclude on Wednesday, with a championship game set for 1 p.m.

The Junior Division State Tournament runs from Saturday to Wednesday in Spokane, with both Centralia Titus Will and Chehalis Sobe-Toyota playing in the eight-team Al K. Jackson Field bracket. Centralia takes on Round Table at 1 p.m. on Saturday, while Chehalis faces the Kennewick Bandits at 4 p.m.

The winner from the Al K. Jackson bracket will face the winner of the eight-team Whitworth University bracket at 1 p.m. on Wednesday, July 31, for the state title. Should Chehalis and Centralia each win on Saturday and again on Sunday, the crosstown rivals would play at 7 p.m. on Monday.

Twin Cities 15s Dominate on Day 1

Southern Washington Babe Ruth 15-Year Old Baseball State Tournam Southern Washington Babe Ruth 15-Year Old Baseball State Tournam Southern Washington Babe Ruth 15-Year Old Baseball State Tournam Southern Washington Babe Ruth 15-Year Old Baseball State Tournam

The first day of the 15-year-old Southern Washington Babe Ruth Baseball Tournament was sent into a bit of a tailspin with the rain pouring in Chehalis on Wednesday morning. The wet weather moved two of the tournament’s first two games from W.F. West’s Bearcat Baseball Stadium to across Interstate 5 at Stan Hedwall Park, where tourney host Twin Cities proceeded to score a whopping 42 runs in 10 innings of action — and, needless to say, improve to 2-0 in pool play. The local squad thumped Willapa Harbor, 20-1, in its opener, then dropped Kennewick, 22-4, in the late game. For the full story head over to Chronline.com.

At Chehalis
TWIN CITIES 20, WILLAPA HARBOR 1 (5 inn.)
Twin Cities    554   24 — 20 14 1
Willapa Harbor   000   10 — 1 2 3
     Batteries: Twin Cities — Tyler Pallas, Cole Miller (3) and Tysen Paul, Noah Thomas (4); Willapa Harbor — Johnson, Matby (2), I. Quimby (4), Aulton (4), King (5) and S. Quimby

At Chehalis
TWIN CITIES 22, KENNWICK 4 (5 inn.)
Twin Cities   60(13)   21 — 22 21 0
Kennewick   000   40 — 4 2 2
Batteries: Twin Cities — Austin Emery, Noah Thomas (3), Cole Miller (5) and Tysen Paul, Miller (3), Thomas (5); Kennewick — Habrer, Schwartz (3), Warter (3), Salker (4) and N/A

To see a full gallery of photos, click on “Continue Reading.”
To buy prints of these photos, click here.

Continue reading

BAYWATCH: LOOKING AT AREA BASEBALL PLAYERS IN THE PROS

Lyle-Overbay-390x220

Centralia native Lyle Overbay is still looking for a hit since the second half of the All-Star Break and his average has dropped to .235 on the season. Meanwhile the Brewers are fighting off the Cardinals for supremacy in the NL Central. Milwaukee has two games on St. Louis in a pennant race that’s sure to go down to the fire. You know, because St. Louis always seems to be good.

Mitch Gueller – W.F. West - The pitcher has a 3.25 ERA and 18 strikeouts for the Williamsport Crosscutters in the Class A Short Season New York – Penn League.

Brock Peterson – W.F. West – Peterson is now playing for the LA Dodgers organization, hitting .410 in 18 games with the Albuquerque Isotopes of the Triple AAA Pacific Coast League. He also has four home runs and 14 RBI.

Robert Pehl – W.F. West - Pehl is hitting .325 for the Idaho Falls Chuckers of the Pioneer League. He also has 8 doubles.

Erik Forgione – W.F. West - Forgione is hitting .183 for the Jamestown Jammers, which is the same league that Gueller plays in.

Andrew Pullin – Centralia - Pullin is hitting .275 with 7 home runs and 43 RBI to go along with 11 doubles while playing for the Lakewood BlueClaws of the Class A South Atlantic League.

TWITTER TUESDAYS: LOS ANGELES, ZOMBIES AND TERMINATOR 2

Since we’re in the dead of summer, I assume some people have taken vacation. We don’t take vacations here in the sports department because I spend all my money on Legos and Aaron blew last year’s Christmas bonus on a car with a seat warmer and COOLER. So we’ll live vicariously through you all. Let’s see what Centralia’s Oscar Jackson is up to…

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Ah, Los Angeles. Here’s a few things you should know about the second biggest city in the country.

1. It’s earthquake prone. Kind of like Seattle but without the large looming volcano that’s going to covering anything in mud anyways. Seattle has quaint little earthquakes while Los Angeles does this…

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You know what this is? Reason No. 1 never to drive in LA. Reason No. 2 is the traffic which makes Tacoma look like a well-constructed flowing German Autoban. Reason No. 3 is if I’m vacation, I’m spending the entire time on the beach re-enacting scenes from Top Gun.

2. It’s diverse. Perhaps the only city where you can have a conversation with a man dressed like a stormtrooper, discuss British politics with a gas station attendant, make fun of the Laker fans who won’t be good for the next ten years and then spend a dollar and a half to use the restrooms at Jack in the Box. Ahhh, LA never change.

3. It’s warm. You know how we get all crazy when it gets to be like 95 in Centralia? We act like the world is ending and that we should probably start boring holes into the earth to escape the scorching sun? That’s like May in LA. It’s warm. All the time. It’s the better looking cousin of Seattle that has a much better three-level house in a nicer neighborhood. Only instead of houses and neighborhoods we’re talking about beach volleyball and Terminator movies.

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This is some of the hazards of running around Centralia. I’ve nearly snapped my ankle misstepping in a water line access panel pit, been chased by a cat and a dog (at the same time) and even Aaron has been heckled by the Capital baseball coaching staff. So stepping on a large rusty tack really isn’t anything out of the norm.

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Wait he’s not going to get a tetanus shot? Aaron probably never got the talk when he was a kid. They do things differently out in Adna, but in Chewelah I was always told that if I step on anything rusty (including Derek Jeter’s baseball skills), I should immediately get a tetanus shot unless I want to become this…

zombie_beer_t640

But apparently Aaron was like “NOPE DONT NEED TO SEE THE DOCTOR” even though I could see him slowly turning into the undead.

Luckily this morning, he woke up with a swollen foot and is now going to the doctor. Zombie apocalypse averted.

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Anyone else remember the story of the monkey eating off the face of a lady? I have never looked at monkeys the same. I mean they’re my favorite animal at the zoo because they’re behind like 2 inches of glass and look like little furry humans, but seriously: A MONKEY TORE OFF SOMEONE’S face.

So they go on my long list of hornets, grizzly bears, dogs from the Logan District, Wayne Nelson, gremlins and soccer moms as creatures I do not mess with.

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The Tanner Gueller bighead sign should follow him to Idaho State University. These needs to happen. And if it doesn’t happen, I hope Tanner understands it will be waiting for him when he visits Cheney to play my Eastern Washington University Eagles. Be prepared, Tanner.

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I have long lamented the demise of good, solid movies that don’t need to make $500 million at the box office to be considered a success. Uncle Buck is one of those. The Great Outdoors is another John Candy classic. Cool Runnings, however, is his opus.

Even though this Disney movie is probably little known by today’s high school generation, those of us that grew up in the 90s can quote the movie with impunity and secretly hope that Jamaica actually does enter in the Olympics with a bobsled team.

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Terminator 2 is a fascinating and terrifying movie as a kid. First, there is Arnold who you can immediately identify as the good guy. I know adults always talk about the “plot twist” of Arnold seeming like a bad guy but in the end becoming a good guy, but anyone worth their “how action movies are made” salt understand from the get-go that Arnie is the good guy.  And to a kid, if Arnold is a good guy, chances are the good guys are going to win.

Second, Los Angeles gets blown up. In Sarah Conner’s dreams. That still gives me nightmares. Although my parents assured me that Chewelah is probably not on Skynet’s “To Blow Up” list.

And lastly, wasn’t young John Connor annoying? I mean he had a ginger as a best friend, drove a dirt bike and spent his free time in the arcade. Either John Connor grows up to lead human’s resistance in a fight against the machines or he becomes the greatest World of Warcraft player of all time.

And with that, ladies and gentlemen… Happy Tuesday!

AROUND THE AREA: ELMA’S FOOTBALL STANDS QUAGMIRE

After tearing down the decrepit grandstands at Davis Field, Elma School District is in a bit of a pickle as what to do about seating at their football games next year. Looks like they may have to move all their games since there is nothing that can accommodate the hundreds of fans. Here’s the story according to the Vidette.

Maybe Elma High School’s football team won’t be playing its home games at Davis Field after all.

During a sometimes-contentious meeting in a packed meeting room, the Elma School Board decided to form a committee to seek a new recommendation that could quite possibly see Elma move its home games to Aberdeen’s Stewart Field for the foreseeable future rather than play in a facility with no bleachers to accommodate hundreds of fans.

The decision came after longtime head football coach Jim Hill challenged the district for its lack of a real plan in helping fans see the games.

“Do we call the visiting team and say, ‘By the way, if your parents are coming to the game, please bring a lawn chair? Is that where we’re at right now in the Elma School District?” Hill told the School Board.

The school board will have to come up with a solution soon since football camps will soon be sprouting up all around the area next month.

Twin Cities 14s Win State Championship

KENNEWICK — The Twin City 14s had plenty of monkeys to get off their back. They had lost to Hazel Dell Metro on Saturday 20-3 in pool play. They had lost to the same team last year in the 13-year-old state tournament. They wanted revenge in Sunday’s championship game of the 14-year-old Southern Washington Babe Ruth State Tournament.

And they got just that.

Twin Cities downed Hazel Dell Metro 9-3 in the state title game on Sunday, riding the arm of Dakota Hawkins for seven innings in the victory. Hawkins struck out 12 and allowed just six hits in seven innings of work. For the full story, head over to Chronline.com.