Twitter Tuesdays: What Happened At Last Week’s Tenino-Rochester Game?

Oscar Jackson is weirdly the only non-Seattle fan on my timeline, because he’s a Philadelphia Eagles fan, I think. Yep, a Philadelphia Eagles fan, because, you know, he grew up in the glory years of Mark Sanchez? Nick Foles? Mike Vick? I don’t understand that choice unless he’s like a closet Ducks fan that has secretly followed Chip Kelly to the NFL.

His weird sports allegiances do allow him to make tweets like this…

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And that ending to the Super Bowl has caused me not to watch or listen to any sports related media for the past fews days because that was simply too rough of an ending for me to relive (and I’m a Titans fan.) I don’t know if it is the PTSD from the Titans getting stopped at the one-yard line but I don’t need 3,406,192 ESPN segments telling me just how sad of an ending that was. Someone will write a book in 20 years about the Curse of the Skittles and make a gazillion dollars. Then the Seattle Mariners will finally win a World Series and Drake will rush the field. Mark my word, you’ve heard it here first.

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Making the Hall of Fame at your college must be a great feeling. I recently asked Eastern Washington University to add me to their hall of fame and this is how they responded…

President Obama Laughs with Aides on Air Force One


By the way, apparently the latest Tenino-Rochester boys basketball game was a real doozie, including this nugget of spycraft by a Rochester basketball player…

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Forget deflategate… this is cheating I can get behind!

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Wait, stud W.F. West wrestler Allan McClure? With a whole pizza? Why does nothing but crazy stuff happen at a Tenino sporting event. What happens in every day life in Tenino and why don’t I live in this town? I could become a sci-fi novelist like Stephen King and base all my novels in Tenino like he does with Maine.

Crazy time-traveling vampires? Hanging out in Tenino.
The world is ending? Not in Tenino.
Devil possesses Jack Nicholson? He did it in Tenino.

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Look at that house! This destroys my preconceived notions of what this party was like. I was imagining this CC party house to be more like…


And when police showed up, every student was like…



But nope. It was probably just 30 people playing Cards Against Humanity.


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